


Cage Match

by sheafrotherdon



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Comedy, Episode Tag, Gen, episode: s2e06 Ka Hakaka Maikai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-14
Updated: 2011-12-14
Packaged: 2017-10-27 07:53:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/293420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheafrotherdon/pseuds/sheafrotherdon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>tag to 2x06</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cage Match

  


 

To: governor@hawaii.gov  
From: smcgarrett@5-0.hawaii.gov  
Cc: dwilliams@5-0.hawaii.gov, chkelly@5-0.hawaii.gov, kkalakua@5-0.hawaii.gov, lweston@5-0.hawaii.gov

Dear Governor Denning:

On behalf of my division, I request deferment of participation in the State of Hawaii's Wellness Program for one year. Five-0 has a strong record of team cohesion, stress management, and on-the-job fitness training; I believe further demands would be detrimental to our ability to keep the criminal population of Hawaii at bay.

Sincerely,  
Steven J. McGarrett

 

To: smcgarrett@5-0.hawaii.gov  
From: dwilliams@5-0.hawaii.gov

my stress is not managed, Steven. you are not managed, ergo, my stress is not managed.

 

To: dwilliams@5-0.hawaii.gov  
From: smcgarrett@5-0.hawaii.gov

Oh, so you want to go to one of these things? There's a workshop on Building Confidence Through Meditation and Visualization, I can sign you right up.

 

To: smcgarrett@5-0.hawaii.gov  
From: dwilliams@5-0.hawaii.gov

I want you to visualize taking that grenade out of your pocket and putting it back in the gun locker, that's what I want. I want you to meditate on four wheels attached to asphalt. These things, these would be helpful to my stress levels. Explosive devices in contained spaces, behind lock and key, taking the stairs, not shooting at cars while standing in front of them – these things would help my blood pressure. Meditation, not so much.

 

To: smcgarett@5-0.hawaii.gov  
From: governor@hawaii.gov  
Cc: dwilliams@5-0.hawaii.gov, chkelly@5-0.hawaii.gov, kkalakua@5-0.hawaii.gov, lweston@5-0.hawaii.gov

Dear Commander McGarrett –

While I have no doubt that a great deal of physical exertion is required for the routine leaping from buildings, scaling of rigging, and lengthy foot-chases in which your division engages, I believe some team-building exercises that do not involve firearms would be beneficial to all.

I look forward to your enthusiastic participation in this program.

Sincerely,  
Sam Denning

 

To: governor@hawaii.gov  
From: smcgarett@5-0.hawaii.gov  
Cc: dwilliams@5-0.hawaii.gov, chkelly@5-0.hawaii.gov, kkalakua@5-0.hawaii.gov, lweston@5-0.hawaii.gov

Dear Governor Denning –

Left to our own devices, my division is ready and able to engage in team-building activities which do not involve ordinance. On Monday evening my team and I proceeded in an orderly fashion to the MMA tournament at Blaisdell Arena, where I participated in hand-to-hand, non-lethal combat with Chuck Liddell. Detective Williams and Officer Weston provided cage-side coaching, while Lieutenant Kelly and Officer Kalakaua engaged in community relations.

As you can see, we have it covered.

Sincerely,  
Steven J. McGarrett

 

To: smcgarrett@5-0.hawaii.gov  
From: dwilliams@5-0.hawaii.gov

you have got to be kidding me.

 

To: dwilliams@5-0.hawaii.gov  
From: smcgarrett@5-0.hawaii.gov

What?

 

To: smcgarrett@5-0.hawaii.gov  
From: dwilliams@5-0.hawaii.gov

you just told the Governor that you engaged in a public beat-down while Chin and Kono drank beer and I lost two, three, seventeen years off my LIFE, steven, in the name of 'we're all well and happy over here, aloha, team-building, we got it,' and you're asking me what?

 

To: dwilliams@5-0.hawaii.gov  
From: smcgarrett@5-0.hawaii.gov

Your typing's getting a lot better, by the way.

 

To: smcgarrett@5-0.hawaii.gov  
From: dwilliams@5-0.hawaii.gov

My typing's getting – don't make me come over there.

 

To: smcgarett@5-0.hawaii.gov  
From: governor@hawaii.gov  
Cc: dwilliams@5-0.hawaii.gov, chkelly@5-0.hawaii.gov, kkalakua@5-0.hawaii.gov, lweston@5-0.hawaii.gov

Dear Commander McGarrett –

I believe any team-building exercise that involves the use of a cage does not qualify under any definition of wellness this office approves.

Sincerely,  
Sam Denning

 

To: governor@hawaii.gov  
From: smcgarett@5-0.hawaii.gov  
Cc: dwilliams@5-0.hawaii.gov, chkelly@5-0.hawaii.gov, kkalakua@5-0.hawaii.gov, lweston@5-0.hawaii.gov

Dear Governor Denning –

It was for the children.

Sincerely,  
Steven J. McGarrett

 

To: dwilliams@5-0.hawaii.gov  
From: mhong@hawaii.gov

Dear Detective Williams –

The Governor has asked me to extend to you $100 for the purchase of alcohol for your division. Please let me know the location of the bar of your choice, and I'll be happy to set up the tab.

Sincerely,

Mahina Hong  
Special Assistant to the Governor


End file.
